Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in iikeriii's LiveJournal:

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006
3:07 pm	Here it is the middle of the long weekend and I have gotten done.05% of things i wanted to accomplish! When I was in Hampton I felt like I had more time to get things done. What is it about this apartment that zaps my time and energy? Hmmm i do like this one much better and all the more room. If I get anything done this weekend it will be the kids room...at this point it needs a bomb..time to go cook the kitchen ingredients! = ) My travel to wisconsin got put off until the end of October so I will miss my daughters trick or treating which sucks since I am a single parent afterall and am supposed to be there for everything. Sometimes it just seems impossible. That I just can spread myself way too thin... Current Mood: blah (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
7:57 pm	I got a call at work today from nicole's school essentially telling me she had a uti. This is her third one in three years. So i leave work AGAIN to go get her and walk past the glare of my boss. But you know she is my kid! The worst they can do is fire me...which is NOT what i want! It took me forever to get this job! Anyhow..to make life that much better I find a new peditrician that i love! Though since nicole has had three uti's since she was three she has to have some procedures done in the hospital. One is just an ultrasound, though the other requires her to be under sedation. Sinple procedures! However, its still my 5 year old baby they are doing it to, regardless of what it is! So all my nerves are shot! She doesnt have to have it until September or so but still...I am not happy... She did get her medicine today though so I wont have to listen to the screaming and crying from her pain so much now..which is nice. On a brighter note, even though I make my spaghetti sauce the same way everytime it always comes out a little different and tonight it is smelling fantastic!! I think its because i let the onion and garlic sautee a little bit longer than usual! A point to remember for next month!! Current Mood: nervous (Comment on this)
Monday, July 31st, 2006
7:45 pm	This was a little better of a day. I dont have too much to complain about really. I still have to do alot of laundry by hand but thats ok i guess. I am actually enjoying it at the moment..who knew..I dont have to lug a ton of it up and down the stairs...to be honest..ive been wondering why i am even wasting the money on the machine right now..except for maybe big things like sheets and blankets. I have been doing really nothing other than playing games when i come home, i am feeling pretty antisocial these days..again lack of meds I think. At some point I will go back on them, I know i need them and i certainly dont feel good most of the time..but i hate taking stuff..i would be such a bad drug addict! lol Current Mood: lazy (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 29th, 2006
12:32 pm	Bad Day My life today is that song! I am having a bad day. I have NEGATIVE money. I had to write a check for food that I cant cover until tuesday, because I had just about NO food, including $10 over because this apartment complex uses a card for laundry. Now that point isnt that bad because its cheaper than the place I lived in Hampton, but still...if it was quarters..I would not have an issue. So I come back from the store depressed because I wont be out of this hole until December and I go to the machine and it eats my money! Now I have to do my laundry in the bathtub. This is a bad bad day! Tonight muffin and I are having a seance though so hopefully that will go well although we dont have as many people as we would like. I cant wait until I actually am making REALLY good money in my profession. I really want to learn reiki and take some official classes in some other metaphysical stuff. Thats my goal. On a positive note..some girls at work and I started a bookclub type of thing where we trade off books to read..and I am such a nerd that is just the type of thing I could become engrossed in. My mind is an open book and I need input! Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 27th, 2006
6:36 pm	Hmmm I hate people when i drive. Now that is not to say I am the worlds best driver..i piss off my fair share of people but WHAT THE FUCK! If I am in the fast lane and I am going fast (which is the norm unless the kid is in the car...i have the lead foot) and a car REALLY feels the need to pull directly in front of me where there is no room to move into and THEN slow down to 60...I mean REALLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!? Not only that but this particular lady was driving a mercedes...I hate those cars and bmw's too ohhh and lets add volvos to that list just because they are homely cars too. Maybe its kissing ass all day at work that makes me so testy on the way home..I was listening to some relaxing music on the way home and then when that woman pulled in front of me..i had to pull out the angry music which always makes me feel better when I am angry! lol On other things..I need to meditate more..I certainly am not going to be getting any more enlightened and will remain in a psychic holding pattern. I dont know where the time goes. LOL hows that for denial. I know exactly where it goes! Playing games, watching baseball, juggling three toys and spending some time with the kid. Thats it! I just need a few more hours. OK GUESS WHAT I DID! Little known fact about me, I have bisexual tendencies and this being the case there was this girl Peret that I used to see around town alot when I was like 18, I knew her name because my ex Scott went to school with her. There have only ever been maybe three women I have ever been attracted to which is why I dont consider myself bisexual but this ONE girl I thought was the most amazing woman ever. She has an unusual name and a beautiful smile and was funny as all hell. So when i worked at walmart many years ago she worked there as well in the pet department with me. I would watch her at times briefly, watch her talk to the fish and do her daily stuff and when she would talk to me my stomach would drop and I would get all that butterflyness. Anyway this is going somewhere... I was sitting in front of my computer bored as usual and I thought of her all of a sudden. Now I have said MAYBE 20 words to her in my lifetime but I went to myspace to look for her and I found a girl that looked like her thought a little older. She is about the right age but apparently this one was in colorado. So HERES WHAT I DID! I sent her a message and asked if she used to live in MA. I know..im queer but I am very excited...and Peret was a lesbian and this one was too. So I am hopeful but I can tell you if she messages me back and its her..my stomach is going to drop again...I can feel the excitement now. Current Mood: excited (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 24th, 2006
8:18 pm	Perplexed No work tomorrow! Im all excited. Of course that means I have to go to the handsome surgeon to get that damn impacted molar out! Ewww but luckily I have the happy drugs all stocked for the wretched after pain! Moving along...I found out today that someone..we will call him X is now single after 3 years of a long somewhat unhappy relationship. I wish I could say I morally stayed platonic friends with him during the past year and a half...but then..i wouldnt have had the cool experiences ive had! = ) So now hes single..and well..we will see. Enough of that...in more uncommitted news. I think Tim actually be coming on friday night! YAY! Exciting stuff!!! This is the time for me to be single. Not to mention, the thought of being tied to someone freaks me the hell out as usual. This is why i broke off the engagement...marriage...EEEEEEEEKKK!!! But then I think of EVERYTHING from a legal standpoint because of all my training and so all that gets highlighted in my mind is signing a contract. So maybe a nice wiccan ceremony would not be bad..if i could find someone i didnt want to kill on a daily basis! I also found out that i have to go back to wisconsin in september for a week for work. I would rather have all the skin peeled from my body slowly than visit that boring state again. Why couldnt the corporate office be in lets say....ENGLAND or JAPAN! I guess i should be glad its not in Isreal at this point! But what part of cheese curds, hunting and fishing sounds fun!??? This is what i will have to do over the weekend that i am stuck there..its going to be me and the remote..or I suppose i could take some pics of all the farms and trees..its is somewhat scenic...SORT OF! At least i get 4 more free plane rides! Current Mood: excited (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
6:10 pm	bored I have been signing on here alot lately now. So instead of just bitching to muffin alone I thought maybe it would be better for me to bitch to my computer since it does not get sick of listening to me! = ) This has probably been one of the strangest weekends I have had in a while. People are coming out of the woodwork. I have been hearing from people that I never really talked to, which was surprisingly pretty cool, also a couple friends I have not talked to in a REALLY long time. One of them is getting divorced after having been married less than a year, though that is somewhat unsurprising since she signed the contract after having dated only 4 months. But, then I am just anti marriage i guess. Maybe there will come a point that I will change my mind but right now, I am throughly liking being single and string free! I am sick of being depressed, my own fault yes, I just hate taking meds and even admitting i need them for a time. So I forget and then I get depressed, easily aggitated and have a general short fuse. Surprisingly I dont have any of that when I am at work which is odd since workers comp claims adjusting can be very intense. Maybe its the challenge that keeps me calm. I have been totally unmotivated to clean my apt. Go figure! I want to get it done before the oral surgery on tuesday because i know most of the week will be shot to hell after that. So the kid just got back from playing all day with Kali and what do I get for that WHINING!!! What is it about being 5 that the whining starts! I dont get it! And to think I want more! Well, that just goes to prove I really am masochistic! In more fulfilling news I think Tim might actually be coming up next weekend which is pretty sweet since I could use some primal urge release to focus on other things! This is pretty theraputic i guess. Who knew! Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
8:04 pm	I am feeling much better now that I got that crappy project for my class done. Now all I have left to do is move, fly, buy a car and start my job tomorrow. What a sigh of relief! Now I am totally bored. Im not even done with this class yet and I am bored. It is clear that I function best on a high level of stress, which is not good..but it keeps me out of trouble! Speaking of trouble..i could use a little its been like a week or something..UGGGGHHH!!!!! I am so fully of energy right now! Current Mood: energetic (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 16th, 2006
2:13 am	Its good SO its a good day. Shawn just left after an incredible few hours of what we do best and I am actually happy to have my bed to myself. Strange that he didnt stay tonight but to be honest I dont much enjoy the act of falling asleep next to someone unless I love them. Peter was fine and so wasnt Daniel..but there was no one else I could really sleep good with. I could use some sleep now..im beat and its going to be a long day today as Easter means family...the kind we dont choose for ourselves which is enough to make anyone stop at the package store! Lately things have been strange for me. Its almost as if I woke up and realized things I had not realized before. Things such as the people that matter in life. After my recent trip to see Denise Fix she was telling me that I am too nice to the wrong people and that soon I will see that. She also told me that I shouldnt expend so much energy on men that arent going to give me something good in return. This may or may not be a truth. To be brutally honest though, I dont really give a guy much until I figure out the category he is in. Those that I just want to hook up with I am obviously nice to because they are useful to me. I like to think of it as a mutual using. Perfect example..I just momentarily had my needs met and here I am able to spit all this stuff out. I am not always nice though. I can be mean. Once I hit my point I am just like anyone else and blow my stack and say things I dont mean. I wouldnt ever get to that point except I have to hold everything in like the glue for all my friends. I use to do that with Holly too. I would hold everything in I ever felt and then we would end up in those big fights over crap we just held in. Shes a good friend to me...my best friend even. She was my best friend even during all that time we didnt talk. I somehow felt still connected to her. She deserved better than what I had done through a long part of our friendship. I know during those years we were growing up but how many times do you ditch your friend for a piece of ass? My friendship with her is sacred..and it took 5 years of wondering how she was, if she was healthy and happy, if she was angry that whole time or sad for me to realize it. Thats 5 years wasted when I could have started being a good friend to her. Though I know that I needed the 5 years to grow and become what I am. Even though she was with my in my heart and spirit I wish I could have made that change with her by my side. Thats why that now that we are talking again..I feel blessed. Blessed that she forgave me, blessed that she opened up to me again after I had hurt her, blessed that she always sees the good in me even when I dont, blessed that she wants me to be healthy and constantly tries to prod me into things that are good for me even though I dig in my heels! She is a good friend, and people like her only come along once in a lifetime. Man what is it about this thing that makes you want to babble?? I suppose I should sleep at some point. Later today will be hell. Current Mood: contemplative (1 Comment |Comment on this)